One of the most popular bedtime stall tactics among babies and toddlers is to throw their lovey out of the crib.
You go through your child’s bedtime routine, lay them in the crib with their favourite stuffed animal, kiss them goodnight and leave the room. Shortly after, you hear their lovey hit the floor and your child starts to cry.
And now you’re torn. You know that if you go pick it up and give it back to them, they’re likely going to throw it again. And this can go on five, ten, or 20 times before your child finally gives up.
But you don’t want to ignore your child’s cries, leaving them to try falling asleep without their precious lovey. (And I don’t want you to do that either!)
Here are some steps you can take to put a quick end to this game while allowing your child to keep their lovey in the crib.
Wait a few minutes
When your child throws their lovey out of the crib, wait a few minutes. Don’t rush in the minute they start crying.
Toss the lovey back in the crib
After a couple of minutes, quietly and calmly walk into your child’s room, pick up their lovey, toss it into their crib, then turn around and leave the room.
Be boring
Don’t say anything and don’t even make eye contact with your child. Be completely boring. Just pick up the toy, toss it in the crib, and leave.
Repeat
Now wait and see what your child does. If she does it again, repeat the same steps. Wait a few minutes, go in and toss the lovey back in the crib, then leave again.
Your child is playing this game to get attention. And for most children, it doesn’t matter if the attention is positive or negative – attention is attention.
So, make this game very boring for your child. If they’re not getting eye contact or a hug, hearing loving words, or even being scolded, then it’s boring. They’re not getting any attention.
It may take a couple of nights, but eventually your child will realize that it’s not worth it and they might as well just keep their lovey.
If you’ve put an end to the lovey throwing game but your child’s still crying at bedtime, let’s chat. Schedule a free 15-minute call to talk about how we can get to a place of falling asleep peacefully.