Having more than one child is a juggling act at the best of times and can be particularly challenging when it comes to bedtime.
Whether your family consists of a toddler and a new baby or several older children, going through bedtime routines and getting everyone to sleep in a timely manner can be overwhelming and may even seem impossible if you’re not prepared for it.
Here are 10 tips for those of you who have two, three, four, or more kids and are trying to get into a consistent bedtime rhythm.
1. Have one bedtime for all the kids in the house
Most parents are surprised to learn that children need 10-12 hours of sleep each night, right up to adolescence. So, if your child needs to be up by 7 AM to get to school on time, then a bedtime between 7-8 PM would be appropriate. And if you have a baby or a toddler in the house, these times work for them as well! If the thought of doing multiple bedtime routines at once is causing you some anxiety, just keep reading.
2. Team up and switch off with your spouse/partner
The most efficient way to juggle multiple bedtimes is by utilizing teamwork. Divide the bedtime routine tasks evenly and then switch off every other night. If you have a breastfed baby, after mom finishes the feed, some nights dad can take over and run through the rest of the bedtime routine while mom puts the toddler to bed. This way, you both get turns spending quality time with each child, and it helps your children feel comfortable with either parent putting them to bed. Then if one parent isn’t available one night, your children are far less likely to protest and demand that parent.
3. Look for opportunities to multitask
As parents of multiple children, we’re often multitasking – whether we like it or not! Trying to go through two or three completely separate bedtime routines is going to leave you exhausted and you’re far less likely to get everyone to bed on time. So, look for ways to multitask during bedtime routines. For example: bath the kids together, sing songs to your toddler while you feed your baby, read books together and let each child choose one. Double up wherever you can!
4. Stick to a 20-30 minute bedtime routine
Bedtime routines are essential for good sleep! Repeating the same steps night after night acts as a cueing system to the body and brain that bedtime is approaching. This stimulates melatonin production (the sleepy hormone) which helps your child fall asleep and sleep through the night.
5. Save a special activity for bedtime
For whichever child is most capable of entertaining themselves, set up a quiet non-screen-related activity while you finish putting the other child to bed. All the better if this is the only time they get that activity. For example: a special colouring book or some stickers.
6. Enlist the help of older siblings
Most kids love to help as it makes them feel independent and gives them a sense of accomplishment. So, give age-appropriate tasks while you’re putting younger children to bed and make sure to praise them for being so helpful. Ask them to bring you a diaper when the baby’s done bath time, have them pick out a book or help sing a song to the baby, if your children are old enough maybe they could even read bedtime stories to younger siblings.
7. Stay consistent
Toddlers are natural boundary pushers, and if you’ve got a new baby in the house, they’ll likely find even more creative ways to try to get your attention. And you may feel a little guilty because, after all, they aren’t getting your undivided attention as they once were. But toddlers love structure and predictability. So, changing or bending the rules is likely going to upset them more, not less. When we keep our limits, our children actually feel safer. So, keep the routine and expectations as close as possible to the way they were before their sibling arrived.
8. Avoid using screen time to keep your child busy
I understand how easy it is to fall into the habit of turning on the TV or handing your child a tablet every time you need a few minutes of peace and quiet, especially at the end of a long day. However, screens emit blue light which stimulates cortisol production (the stress hormone) and inhibits melatonin (the sleepy hormone). So, although 15 minutes of peace and quiet is all you needed to get the baby to bed, your child will now likely have a more difficult time settling down and falling asleep.
9. Accept the fact that it’s not always going to go smoothly
Although these tips will definitely help, all children are bound to have regressions, occasional tough nights, and a meltdown every now and then. Don’t look at it as a failure on anyone’s part, but stay calm and level-headed to avoid escalating the situation.
10. Enjoy the peace and quiet
The great thing about your kids having an early bedtime is that you get to enjoy an evening to yourself! Congratulate yourself for getting through another day, high-five your spouse/partner, then enjoy the peace and quiet – you’ve earned it!
Have you tried these tips and are still struggling to get your kids to bed? I can help by developing a sleep plan suited to your family’s specific sleep challenges.
Let’s chat. Schedule your free no-obligation call today.